It smells like rain in the building I work in today. It's cloudy and threatening to rain outside but it's weird that it smells like it on the inside. I like it though. Makes work rather cozy.
I have been reading more of my Xanga entries from a few years ago and wow. I will just start by saying I was really working on my relationship with God back then. I was so spiritually fed and I can tell that I was just so happy, even when I had my down days. I keep thinking...I wonder if I was so spiritual back then and wrote so much about it so that it could help me today – now, when I need to get back to God and when I'm feeling alone and missing home and family and my friends...and even miss going to a church where I can feel comfortable and feel like I understand and know everything that is taught. I miss reading the Bible and really just delving into it and getting fed by the Word of God. I haven't touched my Bible in months...I'd venture to say a year or even more. Since I've really really delved into it and thought about what I was reading and studied it...I'd say 2 + years. I feel like I'm just waiting for God to pick me up and put me back on my feet again but this is a 2 party thing. I need to be willing and open for Him to do that. I was emailing my brother today and I told him that there are different ways that people get back to God. They might need to pray, or go back to church or help people. There is no one or right way to get back to the Lord. In my case I know that by reading what I wrote a few years ago and listening to the Christian music I used to listen to is a huge part in getting me back to Him because I can feel again what I used to feel when I listened to the music and wrote those blog entries. Another thing that's inspiring would be some of the other blogs on here that I've started following. One of which is Melibella. I think that's spelled right! But her blog is very touching and uplifting. Another one is resolved2worship. They also have beautiful pictures and that's something else that helps me is seeing so of the beautiful things that they capture with their cameras. It reminds me of the beauty that God put all around me. I made a playlist on imeem.com of songs that I used to listen to all the time in my car or at home and I'm listening to it right now. Here are some lyrics that really had an impact on me and still do:
I've been here before, now here I am again
Standing at the door, praying You'll let me back in
To label me a prodigal would be
Only scratching the surface of who I've been known to be
Chorus
Turn me around pick me up
Undo what I've become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, need Your help
I can't do this myself
You’re the only one who can undo
What I've become
I focused on the score, but I could never win
Trying to ignore, a life of hiding my sin
To label me a hypocrite would be
Only scratching the surface of who I've been known to be
Chorus
Make every step lead me back to
The sovereign way that You
~~~~~~~~~
I am just so glad I blogged so much before and I'm so glad that I went back and read it today.
Here are a few excerpts from fall of 2006 it that really hit me today and made me think:
Monday, November 27, 2006
| Read Psalm 112 This morning I woke up like normal and went downstairs to take a shower...like normal. I will have you know, showering promotes the most awesome thought processes. Haha...no joke!
I decided that I would read in the Word before I left work this morning. And I LOVE this because it's like God is talking to me and telling me what HE wants me to do. The Holy Spirit worked in me and prompted me to read in Psalms. Then I was like, "Ok, now what chapter?" Then nothing came to mind really fast so I just waited...then (and this is no lie) God put it on my heart and mind: Psalm 112. Now, to really understand why this is so awesome...I was thinking about praising God. It was a whole big thought process that I can't exactly remember...but then I read Psalm 112 and almost fell out of my seat. I think it's so amazing when God does this. Like He is speaking directly to you.
Well, that just made my day one of those "search your soul" days. So I went to clean (another thought process promotion thing haha) and tons of ideas came to mind. On the way there I sang my heart out to K-Love, then I got there and put on Sirius Spirit FM on the tv. I felt God with me all day today. It's been so beautiful. I am sharing this because I just want you guys to know...there are times in my life where I don't feel God with me. Now, I know that He is always near...and it's just me who kinda subconciously pushes Him away. I sometimes pity myself and focus on what I am going through in my life and how it's "so bad" and "annoying" and "slow/boring" but you know what?? YOU CAN FIX THAT...I CAN FIX THAT! Just let God speak to you...whether it's through music, other people, experiences, or just silence. Life is crazy and beautiful and you know...God has EVERYTHING under control. Just ask Him to guide you through life and have faith that you'll get there just fine and it'll be ok. Easier said than done I know...but you can do it. God bless you all! |
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
There has got to be more for us as individuals to do for others. We need to stand up and help others. I'm tired of being so greedy (this is me personally) and not caring for others. If something happens where you're feeling used maybe...sit back for a second and look at the big picture. God may have an ultimate plan in mind for you or the other person and/or both. I wish there was more here in this little town that I could do to help people out...more volunteer work. But look around...there are things you can do; even if they're small things. "Faith without works is dead"! We need to keep that in mind.
Anyway that is all for now! I'm so happy.
Love, Lizzy
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